Community Sparks Love

I recently returned from four days in Winnipeg visiting very dear relatives and re-connecting with my roots. Being from Vancouver – the land of individuals--, it was a shock to see what happens in a close-knit city of people operating more like an extended family than a group of unrelated personalities. It simply felt safer to be in Winnipeg, where if you stumble, someone is always there to catch you. If you come down with a cold, somehow, somebody will bring you chicken soup.

By contrast, I have lost count of the many people I’ve met just this year at Campoverde Social Club who have told me how difficult it is to make new friends in Vancouver. One example: a high-powered businesswoman, who was on the verge of tears as she explained how lonely she is in our city. When her company offered her a transfer to beautiful BC, as an attractive, successful woman she thought she would easily meet new people in the community. Sadly the opposite has proven true.

Becoming part of a community begins with you. Whilst living in Manhattan, I read an article in which the author said: If you have been living in a place for longer than six-months and cannot borrow $5 from the guy who runs the local grocery store [bagel shop, gas station, etc.] you are not doing your part toward building community. So here are the tough questions: What have you done today to build relationships in your life? When that new couple moved in next door did you bring them “welcome” cookies? Do you know the names of the people who prepare your regular morning coffee? And when is the last time you chatted with someone in the elevator of your own building?

Building community is about being inclusive. It is about inviting people into your home to introduce the people you know to others from a different part of your life. It’s making time to hang out, without always rushing to do the next thing on your list. Vancouver, with its bubble culture, has micro-communities but unlike Winnipeg we are certainly not one big family. There is a runners’ bubble, a cycling bubble, an Ultimate league bubble etc., but rarely do I find a group comprised of people with a combination of interests.

Why not try a new way of living…open your life to others and mix it up. Next time you are introduced or happen to meet someone who adds something to your life, take another step. Ask them if they would like to come to your house for a dinner party and then throw one. Tell them you are coordinating a group outing to see a film or for drinks and then set a date. Organise a trip to the Vancouver Art Gallery, do whatever interests you, but do something. Mix up friends from all different areas and look forward to what blossoms.

As far as friendliness and community are concerned, Vancouver is ordinary at best. Can’t we do better than this? Let’s transform Vancouver’s social life into something worth talking about, as extraordinary as our natural surroundings. The groundbreaking tennis champion Arthur Ashe once said: “From what we get in life, we make a living, from what we give, we make a life.” The other day a friend of mine was set up on a blind date by the guy who serves him breakfast at his corner diner. That’s making a life – and a community!