Over-caffeinated Nation

It’s Time to Tell The City What We Want, and it Ain’t More Coffee

I am going to tell you guys, finally, why it is so difficult to meet people in Vancouver. It is not as simple as a one-sentence answer so for my next few columns you are going to be on the roller coaster ride of a response, but don’t worry, it will have become abundantly clear by the end of it all.

Over the past two-years of running The Campoverde Social Club, hundreds upon hundreds of people have asked what our secret is. Why is it so easy to socialise inside of Campoverde when, if you were to see the same people in a local restaurant or on the street, you would have ignored them. I am going to solve the mystery but what I reveal is going to make you angry.

When I moved back to Vancouver from London, England in 2002 I was appalled at the lack of a social scene. I wrote up a business plan and called the city of Vancouver. “Hi, my name is Rachel Greenfeld and I would like to get a license to start-up a social club” I naively stated. Complete silence loomed. “Ma’am, we don’t have social clubs here” responded the surly voice on the other end of the line. “I know” I stated, wondering what the point was. “That is exactly why I would like to open one” I explained, thinking that the person I was dealing with was obviously not business minded. If we don’t have them, then starting one is a fantastic idea, from a logical standpoint.

I was quickly taught that there is no place for logic when it comes to starting a new venture in British Columbia. “I’m afraid the category of social club does not exist” he furthered. Hmmm, okay, I thought to myself, no problem. I will simply call it something else. “Fine. I would like a license for a wine lounge then.” Another deadly pause ensued. “We don’t have wine lounges in Vancouver.” Finally I realised I was going to have to explain the concept in order to find a vocabulary term that would make us both happy.

“Sir,” I took a deep breath, “I would like to build a small, living-room style space filled with beautiful Persian rugs, comfy chairs and sofas, coffee tables and gilded furniture where people can gather to meet new people and to build community. They will be able to arrive by themselves or with friends because we will make sure that everyone is introduced to one another. People will use this venue to listen to music, to have a bite to eat, something to drink or just pop by to discuss life in general. What would you suggest I do?” That should clear things up, I thought, as ignorant as I was to the behemoth ways of our city.

This time there was no hesitation. “Open a coffee shop” came the trite reply. I couldn’t help it; my eyes started doing the roll to the back of the head thing. Did you ever notice that you can tell when someone is doing that, even if it is on the phone? It seeps out through their voice. I tried to hide my desire to bang the phone against something really hard, but I don’t think I got away with it. “Sir, I think maybe we just might have that market covered here in Vancouver. Can you think of any other suggestions?” Honestly, I really wanted to work with him here. Once again, no hesitation required: “Yep. Move back to London ma’am.”

I had to repeat the suggestion out loud just to make sure I was hearing things correctly. “Just to be clear, you are telling me that instead of investing my money in my home city, building business, creating employment and paying taxes, you would prefer I take my idea to England?” I couldn’t help but sound a little perplexed. “Yes, that is basically what I am saying, yes.”

When I hung up the phone, my hands were trembling and my mind was reeling. How could any system be more backwards? I wondered aloud. I was tempted to pick up and move back to London, where I had friends and knew the ropes but resolve had already set in like dried concrete. I knew that if I just thought hard I could find a creative way to make this social club fly. Care to know why you are not allowed to have any fun in this city? IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. To be continued.