When You Have Met Your Match

Everyone knows the signs of a bad match; boredom, fatigue, disinterest, sometimes even revulsion. My girlfriend Anna told me one horror story that will curl your eyelashes. She was set up on a blind-date with a wealthy, debonair accountant from England. The man arrived in his silver Porshe to collect her and insisted they go to a beautiful, high-end restaurant even though she said she was not at all hungry. She finally acquiesced and ordered a glass of wine to be polite so that he would not feel as though he were eating alone. Five courses later when the bill arrived, the man did not make a move. Anna asked him, in a somewhat shocked voice, if he would like her to get it and he replied “that would be lovely, thank you, how generous of you”. It gets worse. They had already made plans to meet up with some of her friends to see a film. Upon arriving at the cinema, the accountant went to remove his wallet from his jean jacket breast pocket and five condoms fell onto the floor, NOT from his wallet which might have held a residual stash (to give him the benefit of the doubt), but from where they had been strategically placed for the purposes of that evenings assumed activities.

The question is, how can you tell when you have met the right person? The guy who fits what you need and are looking for? We are so accustomed to bad experiences and negative results, insecurities and heart breaks, how do we know when we have something worth fighting for?

Top ten ways you know it is time to stop looking.
You can be yourself and the man encourages you to be the best you can be.
In his eyes, you are the person you aspire to become.
You are completely comfortable in your own skin and feel a sense of peace.
The relationship seems to choose you, you don’t have to force it.
Your checklist of the perfect man no longer seems to matter much.
The team is greater than the sum of its parts.
Complimentary strengths and weaknesses mean that you have someone to catch you when you fall.
Your core value system is mutual.
You feel safe.
You become a kinder, more thoughtful person with a great deal of respect for your mate.

There are a few other things that will happen when you meet The Keeper (and I don’t say the The One, because I don’t believe there is only one person with whom you can build a wonderful life). Something quite magical occurs is the sense that the connection you share will be something you did not know existed prior to entering into that relationship.

Now, that said, I feel it important to counter this list with:

Top ten ways you know it is time to move on
1. The man is incapable of spending any alone time with you, parents and friends seem to be around all the time.
2. He seems to forget his wallet every time you go out.
3. His qualities seem annoying, such as the way he laughs, or how he is absent-minded, or doesn’t really listen to what you are saying…
4. You are incompatible in bed.
5. You don’t like the scent of his skin.
6. He is mean to service people.
7. He only compliments you when you are all made up, but always seems to notice your weight.
8. He doesn’t get along with your friends and family.
9. You get in the way of his television view.
10. He can’t even make plans with you for this Saturday, never mind the future.

I quote good old Kenny Rogers here when I say,
“You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, know when to RUN.”

May you work with the Universe and have faith that the right match will appear when you are being true to yourself. If you are creating a life that is happy, fulfilled and balanced, love will walk through your door. Just keep putting yourself out there and let people know that you are open to it and girls, I promise, it will happen.